my health teacher asked for different ways to prevent pregnancy and i said “do it in the butt” and i got extra credit because no one has ever said that before
(Source: jordpan, via openyourbeautifuleyes)
These are not chips.
They are crisps.
These are chips.
That is all.
we don’t care
#DON’T TELL ME WHAT MY FOOD IS
THIS IS A VEGETABLE
BECAUSE WE LIVE IN AMERICA
These are chips
and these are chips too
That is all.
who the fuck cares about chips and fries and vegetables when you can have bagged milk
you win this round, canada.
Dying.
Dead.
OMFG
(Source: onelifelefttolivetoforgive, via openyourbeautifuleyes)
- Teacher: Why did you not study?
- Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
- 1950's lyrics: Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled. For, my darling, I love you, and I always will.
- 1960's lyrics: When the girl in your arms is the girl in your heart, then you've got everything.
- 1970's lyrics: I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world.
- 2012 lyrics: Almost drowned in her pussy so I swam to her butt.
Sex is the weirdest thing because one person puts their protruding bit of flesh into a HOLE IN ANOTHER PERSON’S BODY and like rubs it around in there until genetic material is injected into that other person which combines with a DIFFERENT bit of genetic material and BECOMES ANOTHER PERSON like WHAT
(Source: you-are-an-airplane, via awfully-crooked)
